How Do Unicorns Have Babies?Elena rubbed her temples as Reno pestered her with questions, this was the last time she ever brought anything she liked to work, "I don't know Reno!"How Do Unicorns Have Babies? by BassGuitarGirl
"Well is the unicorn a girl or a boy? Is that his boy toy or a nipple?" Reno turned the poster Elena had brought to hang in her office and squinted at it carefully, "Is it a boy or a girl? Can unicorns be boys? How are ya supposed ta tell though? 'Cause that thing between its legs is really hairy but unicorns are really hairy all over so it could just be a really fuzzy nipple." Reno frowned at the poster and brought it close to his face.
"Reno I don't know how you tell!" Elena held her head in her hands, her well-polished fingernails digging into her scalp.
"Just tell me whatcha think Laney! You're a girl! Girls are supposed to know all about unicorns!" Reno whined and pointed at the poster, "What is it? Boy or girl?"
"Girl! They're all girls! Will you please put it back on the wall and let me go back to work?" Elena grabbed for the post
A Morning in the Life of RenoReno stared out the window of his room at the trees, waterfalls, and rock walls surrounding Healin as he pulled on and buttoned up his shirt, his face devoid of emotion. He hated mornings, they always came too early for his tastes. Noon, noon was a much better time to start the day. His thoughts were interrupted as Rude knocked loudly on the door.A Morning in the Life of Reno by shadowsintime
"Hey Reno, get your butt out of bed and get dressed! C'mon lets go, we're on the clock!" The familiar deep voice demanded from the other side of the door.
Reno smirks. "Five more minutes partner I was having this amazing dream about this blonde, I wanna finish it," he yells back as he pulls the last button through it's hole, slurring his words in a sleepy manner for full effect. He grins as he hears the door being thrown open, the knob slamming against the wall harshly; another chip of paint looses its purpose in life as it falls from the wall to join its brothers on the floor.
Rude stomps through the door and is halfway to Reno's bed b
Twisting Fates part 2Title: Twisting Fates part 2Twisting Fates part 2 by Enide-Dear
Author: Enide Dear
Rating: some foul language
A/N: For :iconsunstroke-art:!
It was cold outside and he had to tie the blanket around his neck to keep it on, but Reno was lithe. He slunk out the window and climbed up the roof with barely a grunt. The roof tops of ShinRa Mansions was a moonlit landscape of towers, chimneys, broken tiles and windows but Reno navigated them competently. He finally found Vincent in the deep shadow of a protunding battlement.
"Yo, what's up?" He shuffled down to sit next to the darker man and shook out a cig, lightening it.
"They are out there. Your former comrades. They will see your light." Vincent mumbled, not looking down.
"They see this light, they've already seen your eyes glowing." Reno shrugged. He was silent for a while before mustering the courage to ask. "Who's out there?"
"Tseng. Elena. Rude." Vincent pointed, as if he could see damn anything in this dark. "They won't enter the premises. Not toni
Twisting FatesTitle: Twisting FatesTwisting Fates by Enide-Dear
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: Vincent x Reno
Rating: this ch work safe
A/N: for :iconsunstroke-art:
Vincent stepped into the silent shadows crowding Niebelheim mansion and paused. Without turning on the light in the place he’d called ‘home’ for the last 30 years of sleep and about 5 years after awaking, he drew Cerberus. Eerily he pointed the huge gun straight at a point on the second floors wall.
“The wall won’t save you.” He didn’t speak loudly but the words echoed in the empty hallway, making some of the lesser ghosts flee. Vincent cocked Cerberus. “Within ten seconds you will leave this premises. If you are still be alive at that point is up to you. Ten. Nine.”
“Shit, Valentine, stop! It’s just me!” A shock of red hair peered fearful out behind the wall. Vincent frowned.
“Well then, five seconds. Four. Three.” He kept the gun trailed on Reno who hurried down the stairs, careful t
That Crazy Auto-Correct (and auto-complete) Ch.4Taking a break from his paperwork, Angeal flipped open his PHS to send Tseng a text.That Crazy Auto-Correct (and auto-complete) Ch.4 by Chaosbayne
If you’re free, I’d like to do that intercourse thing with you.
Reclining on his sofa with Tifa curled at this side, Tseng glared at his pocket where a beeping noise emanated. Tseng opened his PHS; reading the text that had appeared in his inbox.
Arching a brow, Tseng sent a response back to Angeal.
Well. I don’t think Tifa would be happy if I had intercourse with you Angeal. Perhaps you could ask Reno? He’s free right about now.
Opening the text from Tseng, Angeal’s eyes widened with horror as the blood drained from his face at the response.
‘What the hell??’ Angeal thought to himself, mildly panicking.
Looking at his most recently sent text; Angeal found out that the text did indeed ask to have intercourse with Tseng. Damn that auto-complete!
Mortified that he had asked such a thing of Tseng and even more horrified that Tseng had actually tho
That Crazy Auto-Correct (and auto-complete) Ch.3Mid mission in Rocket Town, Zack suffered a serious bite wound that quickly began to fester and ooze pus. Examining the wound closely, Zack was certain that the wound would need a disinfectant before Cure could be administered.That Crazy Auto-Correct (and auto-complete) Ch.3 by Chaosbayne
Pulling out his PHS, Zack awkwardly typed a text to Sephiroth with his uninjured left hand, asking for advice on how to clean his wound.
Hey Seph. I was bit by a Nibel wolf, except there must have been something wrong with it. The wound is festering and a greenish yellow pus is oozing out of it.
In the middle of lunch with Genesis and Angeal, Sephiroth’s PHS gives off an annoying beep indicating that he has a text.
Heaving a sigh at the interruption, Sephiroth pulls out his PHS and flips open the screen to read the text.
Arching a brow, Sephiroth ponders a moment what Zack should do before typing a response.
You should put arsenic on it. It should get rid of the pus.
Eagerly opening the text, Zack read Sephiroth’s reply.
That Crazy Auto-Correct (and auto-complete) Ch.2Sephiroth sent a text to Genesis asking him if he was still going to meet up with him and Angeal for lunch.That Crazy Auto-Correct (and auto-complete) Ch.2 by Chaosbayne
Sure thing. I just came out of the closet. Dr. Hollander needed me.
Sephiroth stared at his tiny screen for a moment.
“Well, I had my suspicions, but I didn’t think it was actually true. Why Dr. Hollander though?” Sephiroth muttered to himself.
“What are you mumbling about?” Angeal questioned his friend.
“Genesis sent me a text saying that he just came out of the closet and that Dr. Hollander needed him.”
“Well, let him know that we’re fine with his choice in partners, if it makes him happy.”
Sephiroth quickly typed a response back to Genesis.
Angeal and I both support you in your choice of partners, if it makes you happy.
Genesis looked puzzled at the text that appeared. With a click, it registered in his mind.
FUCK MAN! I’M NOT GAY! Damn auto-correct! I said, ‘I just left the CLINIC’
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